Oh I would change oh so many things in my life should I have the power of time travel.
But a little background foremost. My father, was sorta akin to Battler in his backstory, in that his family was very well off. Unfortunately when he was six, his mother passed away, and his father (my grandfather) opted to marry his mom’s sister later. This naturally upsetted my father, and from what I hear he pretty much rebelled against my grandfather and fell in with a bad crowd. This led him to be somewhat violent growing up and dabbling in substances. My mother on the other hand, grew up on in a somewhat poor family, and her parents divorced. She lived with her uncle and was eventually raised by her grandmother. She aspired to be a doctor, but due to circumstances couldn’t do so. So what we have here are two people- one with broken dreams and a broken family, and the other who fell to the wayside due to his circumstances. Suffice to say they got married and spawned me.
In any case, my father started a business here in Canada, and for the most part it was going well. My parents initially had an happy marriage, but as a child I never understood why my dad was “the good dad” and the “bad dad” at times- ie: sometimes my dad would have violent outbursts out of nowhere. In my later years, I discovered he was still into drug abuse and that would show. In any case, my father’s business fell under and that took a toll on him. He wasn’t necessarily in financial distress since my grandfather was willing to help us out, but I guess his pride and resentment made it a bitter pill for him to swallow. In any case, my father started to become quite violent towards to my mother. I still remember at one point when I was six, that my father held my mom at knife point, and she yelled to call 911. My father told me not to, and in fear I didn’t do so. He didn’t kill my mom, but it was clear that their marriage was beyond saving at this point in time. I kinda regret not calling 911 here, because perhaps it would have woken my dad up to be taken into my the authorities. So that’s regret #1. Additionally, I have witnessed my dad’s domestic abuse growing up and I regret not calling it out on him.
In any case, my dad and mom are now separated, and it seems my dad has mellowed out after my grandfather’s passing. He is actually a fairly okay person now, but he still is into drug abuse and such. I guess I wish I could time travel back in time to my dad’s childhood and set him straight- not that I am necessary capable of doing so.
My second regret I suppose, is not taking more initiative in my life. Growing up, I never bothered to find an ambition or dream to drive me. I sorta just grown up nonchantly as it were. I mean the only reason I have the biochemistry degree I have now is that I just was doing well in my science courses in high school and figured I will do the same in university. I can’t truly say that I am truly passionate about biochemistry. I imagine I’ll have a rather tedious career in the future. I guess this is me being dramatic, but I truly feel empty. Nonchalance and apathy are part of me.
There are more little regrets in my life, but I think those are my two major ones.
. Also, I feel like, if I had thought about it properly at the time, I wouldn’t have started dating her in the first place.
