(just as a heads up: iām gonna be mentioning transphobic violence below.)
iām gonna take a crack at answering you about beatriceās views on love & lust.
so, first of all, i disagree with you that this isnāt really about men. i mean, yes, this is mainly about sayoās own insecurities but those insecurities are rooted in real fears about the male gaze, patriarchal entitlement to womenās bodies, & threat of violence for gender non-conformity. also, yes, sayo fears womenās judgment too but women donāt have the same level of power that men do & i believe that sayo knows that.
consider this: if sayo was equally terrified of women & menās judgment, then why doesnāt beatrice hate kanon as much as shannon? why doesnāt beatrice literally lose her mind ranting & raving about what disgusting filth kanon is too & that this love is meaningless without having sex & that jessica will surely hate him? george has his flaws but he doesnāt seem like a violent person, not any more than jessica is. & sure, beatrice also loathes kanon but you have to admit that the brunt of her hate is directed towards shannon. so, where is all this coming from? simply put: misogyny. i mean, every adult woman in umineko suffer so much because theyāre told that women are only good for pleasing men & bearing children. & āpleasing menā means, among other things, being āproperā sexual objects. of course, kanon is also subject to abuse, stigma & oppression due to his āsubhumanā body but thereās just a completely different dynamic between kanon/jessica & shannon/george. & umineko is upfront about the fact that the ushiromiyas really hate women & hold very conservative views on gender roles.
then, what does that mean if youāre a woman who canāt have āproper sexā (meaning heterosexual notions of piv sex) with men? usuallyā¦ it means intense violence, hate, & stigma. in real life, itās a horrifying reality that in many places around the world, transgender women are killed at very high rates & experience a lot of domestic violence, abuse, & systematic oppression. &, generally, at the hands of men.
again, yes, this is mainly about sayoās own self-hate & less about george but iād argue that you canāt really understand where beatrice/sayo is coming from if you donāt also try to understand how sexism works. umineko is pretty good about how it talks about gender, sexism & transphobia; thereās a whole lot of layers in this scene of beatrice berating shannon than just sayo being insecure.