It also doesn’t help that the VN really did a terrible job of portraying Sayo’s issues as being more than “Battler didn’t come back for me, so I’m killing his family” because it really does keep hammering “IF BATTLER HADN’T COME BACK NOBODY WOULD HAVE DIED IT’S ALL BATTLER’S FAULT” when it’s actually a whole bunch of deeply-rooted stuff (it wasn’t until we had Confession available that her struggles and what led up to them were properly explored, and much better than the VN), and the fact that at the time, most people weren’t fully aware of transgender people existing. That’s most likely why people think it’s shallow, besides the fact that most people aren’t ever in positions to where they’d hope for their crush to come save them, and Ryukishi’s way of doing it in the VN reminds the readers (well the ones that didn’t have Confession at the time) of a spoiled teenager who thinks their parents are abusive because they won’t pay all the money so the kid can have a luxury car for their birthday and want the kid to try to save up to pay for half of it. I know it seems pretty messed up in hindsight, but Sayo’s motives were poorly explained in the VN (all the while Ryukishi’s interview in Answer of the Golden Witch had him call his fans who just wanted some sort of answers lazy, mindless goats, and it’s hard to feel sympathy for a character who was responsible for setting up the events of that October when the author does a poor job of explaining her motives while excusing her actions that even Sayo herself condemned), combined with all this, it’s really no wonder that there were a lot of bitter Umineko veterans who didn’t find Sayo sympathetic until Confession came around.
Well, for the most part, the “without love, it can’t be seen” is generally a way of looking at the events of Umineko without a cold, uncaring eye to what occurred. Like, when it’s first introduced, Okonogi uses it as a suggestion to get Ange to look at the massacre of her family through the eyes of somebody who actually loved Eva, and not somebody like Ange who wanted Eva to be the culprit. So, basically, it’s more of like looking through a more objective lens and being able to view things without completely condemning the person(s) responsible.