Rokkenjima Festival of Mayhem - Event: Alternative Fragment

VyseGolbez · November 1, 2017, 11:33am

Hi hello everyone! Did you have a great second day? I hope you did. Anyway, the challenge I present to you today will require your writing talent:

Alternative Fragment

What you need to do here is pick either a Higurashi chapter, or an Umineko episode, or a Higanbana chapter, or a part of Rose Guns Days, and change one detail in the story (such as an event happening differently) in a way that causes the story to progress in a very different (comical) direction. Outline how this small change completely changes the course of the tale. But please, write no more than 3 paragraphs for your submission.

This is another competition, so again 1st place gets 4 points, 2nd gets 3, and 3rd and 4th both get 2, whereas late submissions get 1 point.

Submissions need to be submitted by Thursday, 11:30 am UTC for them to be on time.

Seraphitic · November 2, 2017, 11:32am

The Goatdatricers

Team Goatdatricers’ submission:

Seraphitic · November 2, 2017, 11:37am

teamavvie

Team Goldenslaughterers’ submission:

AU Fragment name : “Real Housewives of Rokkenjima” (Note contains Episode 7 spoilers)

The change is a simple one- Kinzo openly reveals Beatrice Castiglioni to the rest of his family, including his wife (who will then be referred to as simply Wife). See, he proclaims that Beatrice will be his second wife and Kinzo being a LAVISHLY rich man can bend the law . Hah, not only will this AU be hilarious it will provide sitcom-esque commentary such as “Boy that Kinzo sure is shady! What is he, Donald Trump?” *insert misplaced sitcom laughter here *

In any case, this changes a couple of things. First is Kinzo’s demeanor- without the stress of hiding Beatrice and being openly in love- he mellows out. He actually becomes a fairly competent and a mellowed dad. Secondly, this creates a rivalry between Wife and Beatrice. Thirdly, the siblings are less off-kilter thanks to papa Kinzo being less of a jackass. Fourthly, since Beatrice is not subjected to hiding in Kuwadorian and less stressed out from hiding, she leads a healthier life and thus doesn’t die out early.

So what kind of adventures does the REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ROKKENJIMA(Trademark pending once Ryukishi gets off his ass and bestows us royalties) have? Well, for one thing we got the ever popular romantic rivarly cooking battle. Wife and Beatrice cooks Japanese and Italian food respectively. Of course Wife, being raised as a noble woman usually relied on her servants to cook, but not this time! She must do battle on her own. Now the astute reader will realize this means Wife will give Kinzo a pile of burnt food. WELL YOU ARE WRONG! NOT WHEN YOU HAVE MAGICAL GOHDA CHEF TEACHING YOU HOW TO COOK. Wife’s food is so good, Kinzo strips in bliss. Like has a food orgasm. FOXY GRANDPA TIME. (Hey we gotta get the female audience roaring to go after all!). ANYTHING FOR THOSE RATINGS GUYS. ANYTHING. YOU WANT A BEACH EPISODE? YOU GOT IT! YOU WANT LOVE TRIANGLES YOU GOT IT! YOU WANT THE COUSINS TO FIND THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS IN A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL- YOU GOT IT. YOU WANT GENJI TO SUGGESTIVELY DEMAND ATTENTION FROM KINZO IN JEALOUSY. YOU GOOOOT IT. THIS IS THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ROKKENJIMA PEOPLE- ANYTHING GOES . WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Seraphitic · November 2, 2017, 11:39am

Team SleepingVerborum and RKW Berris’ submission:

A thick cloud of silence descended upon the hall, as the clock struck midnight. There were no laughs anymore; only Maria standing in the middle, smiling poisonously as her gaze drifted from her cousins to Battler whose completely lost look was the most amusing thing she had seen so far.

“The journey has ended, and the witch has… revived, see?” she said rather calmly, as if she wasn’t giggling hysterically just a few seconds before. As she spoke, the room had started glowing here and there, the golden mist made its way from nowhere. A faint silhouette had appeared behind Maria made of flaming butterfl— wait… mackerels?! How and why? … Right-right, Battler remembered then that he actually had never seen golden butterflies anywhere… And not because he couldn’t see them, but just because there were no butterflies from the very beginning! Battler had been staring entirely confused, as the mass of throbbing fish slowly turned into a stooped figure of no one but Kumasawa.

“Hoh-hoh-ho~ Battler-san! We have finally met again” the said woman smiled modestly, placing her hand on Maria’s shoulder. The girl grinned and clutched the elderly woman’s apron, looking as happy as never. This all was extremely fishy… in all ways. It just couldn’t be true. But what was biting him more is the motive behind all murders. Why? Just why? As if reading his thoughts Kumasawa-Beatrice continued, “Hoh-ho~ you might be thinking why. How could this old lady kill my entire family, all people on this island… Have you ever liked mackerel? Have you ever understood its inner beauty? Its charm? Or how mackerel is flawless and full of vitamins? Hoh-ho~ I guess, never. And not only you. This whole family and servants here underestimated this glorious fish and mocked it. I couldn’t bear this anymore… I’ve been burning with hatred and sorrow for six years… Six years since you promised to try my mackerel pancakes…”

The scene was interrupted by a sharp shout.
“A-a-ah, Bern, it’s total crap! Where did you even find this cracked fragment?” The Witch of Certainty groaned, looking very displeased. Facing her, another witch only tilted her head a bit and responded with a faint smile. “It was a miracle, nothing more.”

Karifean · November 2, 2017, 11:39am

Thanks for your submissions! We’ll be judging them within the next 24 hours. Good luck to y’all~

Karifean · November 2, 2017, 10:08pm

Alternative Fragment - Verdicts

#3 goes to Team Goatdatricers (+2 points)

Kari: Wonderful little story and damn that’s some impressive effort put into it, but it’s also waaaaay past the length limit, dude ^^;
Sera: tl;dr
Vyse: The style of humor reminded me of an abridged series.

#2 goes to Team Goldenslaughterers (+3 points)

Kari: I was the only one who could actually read this for spoiler reasons, and I thought it was goddamn amazing. I so want to see this be an actual thing xD
Sera: Kari has given me some excerpts (cuz spoilers) and it sounds freaking hilarious. Good job
Vyse: Kari explained the concept, and that’s a great idea. Am looking forward to reading it in two months or so.

#1 goes to Team SleepingVerborum and RKW Berris (+4 points)

Kari: You had me at the image of goddamn MACKERELS flowing together to form Kumasawa-Beatrice.
Sera: I absolutely love KUMASAWA Beatrice. I need more.
Vyse: I should probably start eating mackerels, lest I be slaughtered by Kumasawa-baa-sama.

Thanks once more for participating! =)